Today I open comments once again with an entirely new commenting system, as well as a new and dramatically different commenting policy. The HUS of old, with tense debates raging over 2,000 comments, is gone for good. From now on, comments will be moderated as necessary to ensure a quality experience for all readers.

A predictable and natural outcome of this new approach will be a dramatic drop in the number of comments on each post here. That’s OK. In fact, that’s a good thing. Many commenters won’t be returning, and over time we will build a new community of people who seek productive and positive discussion without bias or rancor.

I pledge to do everything in my power to ensure responsible participation by sane individuals.

10 quality comments are far preferable to 1,000 cantankerous ones. (This is not to say we cannot debate or respectfully disagree when we discuss posts.)

I’ve adopted a third-party commenting system called Disqus. It’s used by many high-traffic blogs, and offers a lot of rich features. I’ll be working hard to make the transition as seamless as possible. There will also be two new moderators on the site who have the power to delete comments or ban commenters. While this will not guarantee the elimination of unhelpful and obnoxious commentary, having additional pairs of eyes on the threads will help to keep order while I’m away from the blog.

Anonymous commenting will not be permitted. You must log in with a verifiable email address or social media account, and first-time comments will be held in moderation as a matter of course.

HUS is firmly pro-relationship, and it’s meant to support young people interested in and capable of long-term mating.

I want to be very clear about the kind of conversation I’m willing to host. Online bitching and snarking is a waste of everyone’s time, and it destroys the positive energy of the group. HUS is a place where young women and men can safely share their perceptions, experiences and views without blame or judgment. Wholesale disparagement of either sex will not be permitted. To that end, it might be helpful to clarify the kinds of debate I do and do not welcome here.

Here are some examples:

DO DISCUSS: The best ways of conveying interest to the opposite sex.
DO NOT DISCUSS: Whether women are worthy of commitment.
DO DISCUSS: The costs and benefits of casual sex.
DO NOT DISCUSS: The morality of premarital sex.
DO DISCUSS: The best strategies for finding a life partner.
DO NOT DISCUSS: The best strategies for getting laid.
DO DISCUSS: The importance of ethics in dating. DO NOT DISCUSS: Which sex is more dishonest or otherwise morally impaired.

Keep it positive, constructive, fair, and on-topic, and we’re all going to get along just fine.
Below please find the new Hooking Up Smart Commenting Policy, effective immediately. This may also be accessed via the Navigation menu.

Hooking Up Smart’s Commenting Policy

Blog comments are my absolute favorite thing at Hooking Up Smart — but I’m also a very firm believer in the value of online civility and respectful conversation. That’s a challenge when discussing dating, sex and relationships, especially online. People are understandably highly invested in a topic that is so important in their lives, and most people’s views reflect their personal experiences, as well as their perceived degree of success in mating. I understand this, but anything less than complete civility is unacceptable at Hooking Up Smart.

We reserve the right to delete or edit comments that strike us as:

rude
judgmental
ranty
attacking
self-promoting
repetitive
advocating an agenda incompatible with HUS

Comments will be moderated carefully, and the judgment of the moderators is final. To avoid deletion/nonapproval, here are a few tips:
Read the post and see what topics are raised. Address these topics. Express ideas and make good observations. I understand that this comment policy won’t be a good fit for everyone’s communication style, and I’m fine with that.

If you feel frustrated that I’m not willing to entertain your point of view, or the way that you choose to express it, I invite you to start a blog or find one that is more compatible with your personal style.

I believe we can support and learn from one another, and all are welcome, provided they abide by the rules.

This is your opportunity to comment on commenting – feel free to ask questions, express your views, etc. I’ll be putting up a new post shortly.